Saturday, 28 January 2012

Jottings from the Tropics: 28 January 2012

The huntsman spider has departed. Possibly of its own volition, out of the window frame in front of waiting cameras. I don’t know. Both Litoria rubella have returned to their favourite spots. And they were looking very smug when I saw them last night. I realise that smug is a natural expression for a frog, but this pair appeared particularly pleased with themselves. I almost expected one of them to say to me, ‘This is the most humble day of my life.’

- o O o -

I engaged in a staring contest with the lesser sooty owl yesterday evening. I gave in after about a minute. But not because the owl possessed a superior staring ability. No. I gave in because I felt guilty. It wasn’t fair to the owl to have a larger predator (me) looking at it in a threatening fashion. Just so you know. I could have totes won.

- o O o -

The pademelon population has grown thanks to a few transients. This morning Pip and Red had the company of another joey, a half-grown female and an adult female with a pouch so full that I can only assume it was full of shoplifted goods. I’m beginning to wonder if they aren’t rehearsing a marsupial version of ‘Oliver Twist’. After Red’s performance over the fruit salad, I think I’m being cast in the role of Mr Bumble the beadle.

- o O o -

And while I’m in character, I almost drove off the road this morning because I was so irritated by a radio announcer. This is not a new phenomenon, although it is a transferred one. I used to yell abuse at the television, but the analogue signal went off on 6 December. No more little, granular, ghosting people to swear at. No more glass-fronted target for my insults. The radio is all I have.

What drove me to distraction was his use of the term ‘crowd sourcing’. He said that he had crowd sourced the answer to a question. What he had done was ask. Ask. It was the BBC World Service too. Don’t make me write letters, BBC. I haven’t been Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells for years now.

So if you were on the Atherton road this morning and saw someone shouting obscenities at their dashboard, I apologise for the discomfort. I hope you covered your children’s eyes and ears and drove on. But, really...crowd sourcing?


Duncan said...

My favourite read every morning!

Snail said...

Thanks, Duncan! It's almost (but not quite) non-stop action here, albeit on a very small scale.