Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Jottings from the Tropics: 18 September 2012

Listen up, wildlife. I know you're sick of hearing this, but if you want me to stop mentioning it, all you have to do is quit pooping on the patio.

Don't tell me you can't help yourselves. You don't poop in your own nests. Okay, the possums probably do, but they are poopal production lines. Their alimentary tracts are full all the time. Food going in one end just pushes out digested matter at the other. (And while we're on the subject of possums, what's with all the ticks? For animals that are nicely turned out, possums are loaded with arachnid ectoparasites. Little Poss sometimes looks as though he's covered in grey balloons. )

Pademelons: if you can't control yourselves, just go around the patio rather than across it. You never see tree roos pooping on the brickwork.

Brush turkeys: for goodness sake, eat more roughage. Really.

Melomys: Well, you're only small, so it's no real problem. But a modicum of restraint would be appreciated.

And bandicoots: I know you thought that no one was looking, but I did witness that effort the other night, when one of you chased off Little Poss and then proceeded to create a scale model of Mount Bartle Frere in recycled material. You've excavated pits all over the garden, why not use them?

Thank you for your attention.


Dreamer said...

Hi Snail,
Try putting signage "Toilet this way" and lead them away from your patio...hahhhaaa....
It is a communal thing really, when one animal starts to poop on one spot, everyone else follows... well...time to take your camera ready and photograph them when they come around to poop.

Snail said...

I like your thinking! Not sure how well they can read, but maybe some graphics indicating acceptable (and unacceptable) behaviour.

mick said...

Did they all listen? Do you try to clean up after all of them?? The mind boggles!!!

Snail said...

The turkeys have gone to bed for the night and the paddies don't usually visit after dark*, so I'll have to wait until tomorrow to see the effects of my admonishment on them. But I'm expecting tick-covered Little Poss and cohort to turn up this evening, so there might be words. The bandicoots never listen. At least the possums look as though they are paying attention.


* Pip sometimes turns up at night, but as I haven't seen her for several days, I think she's gone to join the marsupial Choir Invisible.

Anonymous said...

laughing here ... :)
that's all I ever say,isn't it?


Ladybug said...

From over here - TOO funny! No, I guess it's really not, but you make it sound so. I'm sure everyone is trying hard to "out-mark" everyone else & none of it is working... except YOU probably DO end up working to clean it all up! Thanks for the laugh...

Snail said...

They appear to be conducting themselves in a more seemly manner. I haven't had so much to clean up lately, but...my goodness!...it was messy for a while.

At least they were having fun. :)