Monday, 9 October 2006

All the news that's fit to print (and a heap that isn't)

Tonight's news:


1. The North Korean Government announces that it has conducted a successful underground nuclear test in the region. At the time of the test, the US Geological Survey records a small earth tremor in NE North Korea, an area of otherwise negligible seismic activity. Bomb-crazy Pyongyang refers to the detonation as a 'historic event that brought happiness to our military and people' and tells the world that it's 'a great leap forward in the building of a great prosperous, powerful socialist nation'. The rest of the world thinks that North Korea should get out more ... or less. No one is quite sure which. China calls the test (and the appropriation of Mao's slogan) 'brazen'. Japan says the region is 'entering a new, dangerous nuclear age', something that has greater resonance for Japan than probably anywhere else in the world.


2. A child in Port Melbourne has his pet blue tongue lizard stolen. The child (who is seven years old according to Fairfax and four according to News Limited) calls himself 'little Steve Irwin'. This allows the Age to run the headline Little Steve Irwin cries for stolen lizard. Apparently, the burglar lifted the lizard and a 246-year-old violin after picking up a door key, which was kept outside. The lizard is returned a day later. It is found in a cardboard box by the son of Mike Brady, the man responsible for Up there, Cazaly, with a note saying something along the lines of 'Here's your lizard, son, but we're keeping the violin'*. Victoria Police Service crack lizard-napping squad say they will examine the box.

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*May bear no relationship to genuine contents of note

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