Wednesday, 1 January 2014

Jottings from the Tropics: New Year's Day, 2014


I'm starting 2014 in the way I plan to go on: grumpy, but productive. I am going to make a sandwich board, write on it "go away — this means you" and place it in the drive way. I might excavate pitfall traps on either side to deter people who interpret "this means you" as "this does not mean you". Other deterrents I've considered include dropping bird seed on them as the brush turkeys walk past and making unexpected visitors watch the whole of Nicolas Cage's remake of The Wicker Man. I abandoned the bird seed idea because it would become too expensive; I abandoned the film because it was a disproportionate punishment.

I've made my new year's resolutions. Despite the opening paragraph, none of those resolutions include the words "Heart of Darkness" or "supervillain"*. I won't provide details — I find nothing kills personal plans as efficiently as discussing them — but I'll mention that one of them is to produce a blog post every day (except Tuesdays). That resolution doesn't specify minimum levels of clarity, coherence or cheerfulness.

I apologise in advance.

A happy, healthy, filled and fulfilled 2014 to you!

_______
* These are on the list for 2015.

12 comments:

Neil said...

Happy New Year.

Snail said...

You too, Neil!

I hope it's not as hot where you are as it is here! I'm already looking forward to 'winter'.

Susannah Anderson said...

Happy/grumpy 2014!

Snail said...

And to you, Susannah :) (The grumpiness is optional!)

Neil said...

39 the other day and more on the way.

Snail said...

Urk! :(

Rose ~ from Oz said...

Grumpiness goes with the territory down here in the hot, humid dust-bowl.
Happy New Year!

Snail said...

Happy new year, Rose! The weather's just revolting at the moment -- even here, where it's not too bad most of the time.

Fingers crossed for a decent fall of rain.

Anonymous said...

Yes, a safe and satisfying year to you and all your followers.

Looking forward to more of your blog; I love it.
jj

Snail said...

Thanks, jj, Glad to see you lot are getting some cool weather and a spot o' rain to start the year.

Jeni at Northern Rivers Dreaming said...

Our possums say happy new year to your possums :)

Snail said...

My possums say 'back atcha'. They're wedged in the macadamia tree. How they do it without overheating, I dunno. They were running back and forth across the roof last night, the noisy little beggars!